18 Ways To Spot A Douchebag In The Club

Here are 18 ways to spot a douchebag in the club from a mile away. If you see any of these signs, RED FLAG!


1. He’s wearing sunglasses in the club. His future is probably not very bright, so the idea of wearing glasses in a club is a bit ridiculous and screams he’s a douchebag. He’s either hiding that he’s fucked up wasted, rollin’ on molly or just an outright idiot. There are no positive reasons he is wearing glasses in the club.


2. He’s taking pictures with his friend(s) or with girl(s) throwing up the peace sign or pointing at the person he’s taking a picture with.


3. He’s drinking straight from the bottle of liquor at the VIP table like he’s a frat boy.


4. He’s a 30k millionaire and he’s trying to inflate his ego and act like he has money. He thinks it’s a good idea to cash in his hundred for 1 dollar bills and begins to make it rain and throw the money into the crowd.


5. The amount of hair gel on his head could lubricate 10 people’s heads (Jersey Shore haircut).


6. His tight shirt is cut to display his pecks and cleavage (low cut). This guy thinks he’s prettier than you. The deeper the cleavage, the bigger the douche.


7. He’s wearing a bluetooth. Just in case he gets that important business call in the club or something.


8. His tan is brighter than the orange you ate for breakfast. Maybe he’s color blind?


9. He’s seen walking around the club talking to every girl. Law of averages says he scores with someone as long as he asks enough girls.


10. You meet him and he won’t stop talking about how much money he makes.


11. His shirt or jeans has any of the following attached to it: beads, sequins, rivets, pins, gems, rhinestones, studs, metallic paint, swarovski crystals or any sort of dragon imagery.


12. He’s wearing a shirt or hat that says “sluts” or “I party with sluts.”


13. His collar is popped and he’s fist pumping to every song.


14. He’s wearing Ed Hardy or Affliction clothing. See #11.


15. He has patterns of any sort in his haircut or beard.


16. He’s wearing rosary beads or any other religious paraphernalia, yet have no religious affiliation, except for praying for forgiveness for bringing home a “grenade” last night.


17. He’s wearing a scarf in the club.


18. His jeans are so low you can see his underwear. The proper term is called “sagging.”

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